(0407) starting over

dead to everyone else but myself, but it's just as well. i'll never have what they desire, but fortunately, we all have different needs. ignore the smoke and mirrors. he knows where he's headed and has no reason to be afraid of what you call a dead-end.

irrelevance is the first step into obscurity. a void in the brain has no ability to understand its lingering cliche of lies and oblivious thoughts. this is the self-fulfilling prophecy of the midwest. move on, but you won't. you'll disappear under a halo of guilt and boredom.

falling apart in the pretense of opinions, and everyone's egos are fragile and vapid. i drown these assumptions in a sink and start over in a desert. just started the book and already i'm zoning out. it comes and goes. usually goes. running out of ideas? i'm running out of air. this was the last straw.

(0406) crack the egg

breathe the air and wait. watch your love dissipate.
the mechanism of fate is when you crack the egg.
learn to tell the time, and in time, you'll learn to rhyme.
and when you're ready to climb, remember to fall.
filter out the waste. make it worthy of your tastes.
don't be defeated in haste. you'll still have to swim.
give your ghost to someone else, but don't confuse it with yourself.
the only thing that will help is a broken mirror and shooting stars.

fill this vacancy. no more pills to sleep.
nothing perfect is free. equation nullified. need no receipt.

can't reflect the things we want.
never understood what we were taught.
hold ugly secrets in our hearts.
still trying to figure out where to start.
what a fucking lovely work of abstract art.
it's nobody's fault. it's a game of seeing shadows in the dark.

(0405) the speed of light

a needle in the abstract coming to kill you..
better fall asleep before it's too late.
the irrational was my only common sense.
there was nowhere else to go but up, and the sky was pretty cloudy.
extradition to a sprawling landscape, but we can only forget so much.

we let it drip now. there are no other choices.
false equivalencies are all that that time has ever amounted to.
the pretense is gone, and the sunset is almost too bright.
moving faster than the speed of light.

(0404) fake victims pt. 2

you drank the water, and now you are too the walking dead.
broke a tooth on the way down the rabbit hole.
woke up with a free breakfast, but it wasn't worth it.
honestly, the timing was just too late.
little thinking warrants little surprise. infinite delays it seems.
needed something else. need to switch out colors.
these memories can only hint at the truth, but the light leaves me feeling empty.
i make it out before accepting a cold, hard reality.
we're just here to say goodbye.
the days: like sand going through an hourglass, but depression is hours away.
i'm just frozen in snow with eyes open.
your destination doesn't exist.. nor do you.
you're a dream in your own head.
traffic jams ad nauseum. just crawling through god's intestines.
we'll all be sorted through in the end.
hold your breath and repeat the words "i am free."
21st century. get used to it.

(0403) fake victims pt. 1

first day of the deformation. we are alive, but we're losing sensation.
cannot say just what we think. no point to stare. no point to blink.
no reasons to go at it full force. just reverse engineer it until you arrive at the source.
fake victims and untouched emotions. this is what happens when you lose focus.
scrape it off until it's clean. conduct an investigation until it's all been released.

if you don't feel it, then you were never there.. so take a seat on an arbitrary chair..
if you don't get it, then you've gone away.. so go get fucked, but have a nice day..

this shitty car stops at every stop sign. i can't afford to run any red lights.
anything i don't see could be the death of us or it could be the death of me.

the coldest winter ever known.. but these warm words will be etched in stone.

20,000 years ago, this probably made no sense..
but this time.. this time, we've kept the evidence..

(0402) echoes in metered time

break a piece of my skin, and hold it under your tongue.
let it dissolve slowly. you will never owe me.
i swear to god to all my friends.
i'm alive and moving. i'm never assuming what i have never known.
it's my only offer.
there is nothing softer than a soothing melody in your head.
i'm amazed at what you still haven't said
and at all the people who think i feel dead.
there's a flow to everything.
all some people see are the ways in which we never tried.
the illusion is all in your eyes.
it's the difference in darkness and light.

take a pill to ease the pain. just as well a bullet to the brain.
what's the point of dying?
there's no use in trying to hurry this thing along.
it's just all one little dream.
so paint the colors boldly and assume you know me.
we're in a constant state of change.
it's what you call motion. sort of like the ocean..
there is no way to really slow things down.
ride the wave of the future
only if you're ready to confront the great unknowns.
the illusion is feeling alone.
it's the difference in warm and cold.

(0401) smoke and mirrors

so much for drowning out that noise.. tomorrow's already a wasteland..
been up and down this ride before.. but still holding out for more..
we couldn't stand beneath the weight.. we never knew just why it started..
now, things just aren't quite like before.. no need to hold out for more..
this apple tastes just like an orange..
and this orange reminds him of an apple..
but all these pursuits of human nature will only rot our teeth..

so this love is never in decline.. it doesn't waiver in the high winds..
the last remains of deconstruction will always be there through time..
so long to thinking what i thought.. so long to faithless assumptions..
too many paradigms to shift.. too many roads to travel..
somehow, i've cracked the secret code.. but just to realize there's nothing..
nothing but circumstance and style.. nothing but smoke and mirrors..

nothing but imagination..

but imagination enhances the blurring and distorts your fields of view..
this is why i've learned to feel warm on the coldest of cold afternoons..

(0400) naked

in a daydream for the rest of your life, but we're all naked on the inside.
chained yourself to your own gravestone while the night cries for the sunlight.
and while the phone rings, i'll be in the dark..
holding onto something comfortable..

making green tea instead of lemonade even if the water is still stagnant.
going outside with no change in state of mind. going outside where the air is nice.
need to migrate now to a different place..
jump the time warp.. smoke a cigarette..

is it only by chance if you're the only one who stumbles?
is it only a dream if you're the only one awake?

when the bill comes in the mail, it will be paid in full..
or your money back..
when the check comes in, it will either be cashed..
or i'll send it back..

cost is equal to the energy lost. cost is equal to denial.

(0399) the cost of rational living

in the lost pockets of oxygen, a frozen heart starts to thaw.
the blood has been flowing, but the remnants of memory still remain.
and they said "all is lost" with the gold in their hands.

so much for building bridges.. too late to cross that line.
reading and writing won't get you a thing if don't comprehend.
the clock has not moved since we learned to abandon ship.
and they said "carry this cross" with no god in their lives.

don't forget the cost of rational living has already been paid off.
looking for shooting stars and hoping to get yours too.
the hooks have been there since the beginning of time so fall in line.
and they said "hurry up" with a gun to their own heads.

cast in a stupid movie with actors who don't know what to say.
let's rewrite the script again just to see how these idiots deal with change.
but when i go, i'll take nothing with me and make sure to leave nothing behind.

somewhere in space and time, you've forgotten what it felt like for the very first time.
listening to music and feeding yourself to death or at least until you're satisfied.
and they said "just one more time" with boredom and no control.
"just one more time."

(0398) let it rot

you've been sick for some time so i've already collected your ashes from the sky, but the unstoppable force of doubt has now rendered this useless in our eyes. throughout the fog of hopelessness, there remains a barely-visible faint glow, and it was once you who decided to walk away from all you know. passive forms of submission were the only hint of escape you knew so you became confused about almost everything except for your own twisted worldly view.

a conclusion never made much sense. the stakes are much too high. the indignity offered by giving up only made the rest of your thoughts feel like a lie. watered every single plant only because we'd assumed they'd grow, but science has other things in mind sometimes... sometimes, it just needs to snow. monkey seems to understand but does things again expecting a new result. the irrational things make sense at first so we ignore the snow until it starts to fall.

there has to be an easier way to go, but all signs point to the same spot. i can't remember what i came here for so it's probably best that we let this rot.