(01) modern trappings of an uneternal youth

painting pictures across a black canvas, uncontrollable doubt bleeds slowly from my worn-out brush. my silent second-guessings offer up only the modern trappings of an uneternal youth. they all see him in the shadow of who they want him to be. the lack of color in my environment melts everything away, leaving not even a hint of natural substance. i feel it's only a matter of time. one day, they won't be able to make the difference. one day, nobody will. one day, i will break free from the catastrophic remains of my lost memories. my eyes will stay shut forever.