(014) without a voice

i woke up in the middle of the night without a voice. my lover was with me in my dreams, but she never revealed her face. i remembered calling out her name over and over again in desperation, but no sounds would ever escape from my mouth.

i knew where she was, but she was moving out of sight quickly.

and then i blinked, and everything went black.

(013) patterned waves of futility

we will bask under that fake sunlight while taking drinks from our glasses of vodka in hopes that we will forget what all was said. we don't want to remember what's been lost so we relish in the idea of breathing in toxic fumes for our own enjoyment.

the sky is fleeting in the wake of all who can manage its patterned waves of futility which brush only on those with the deepest sets of pupils. blank states of unforeseen panic are commonplace for absolute mental exhaustion.

yet, in the plentiful fields of doubt is where we will yield our greatest potential all while sitting quietly. let the old world vultures scavenge over the remains of your false-hooded existence.

we are the only ones who can still see in color.

(012) the next morning

you were beautiful, but you were a jewel i could not keep. your heart was slowly disappearing out of view. as the sun buried itself beneath the horizon, my eyes struggled to adjust to the absence of the warm, yellow light that had filled my sky for so long. but now, she was indeed gone for good and had no intentions on ever coming back. i saw her once in a dream that had vanished from my memory the next morning. you were glowing white light that blinded everyone. i couldn't see for days, but when i came to my senses, i realized i was living in some tired, tranquil dream. i have no choice but to abandon ship. the echoes that we made were never heard. the pictures that we took were never seen. each day was a sketch that i drew up and then erased. the bottom of the ocean is where you will find my body after it has been drowned by your silence.

(011) evicted without notice

most of the time, it's too hard to even think about what i want to be saying because i'm too busy waiting for a sign to point me in the right direction - to tell me where to go next - but usually, nothing ever happens. the air is filled with silence like when you're watching a movie - except the actors and actresses don't know their lines, but they try their best anyway. so i stare in the dark as i feel my own heart beating faster and faster, but it slows back down when they turn on the lights and open the doors. we can finally leave now. the nightmare has ended, but the fear never will. i will always remember how the days used to disappear, and the mirrors would show everything that they know. it was like an eviction that came without notice so now i make my bed every morning i wake up because i want to assure myself that nobody has to help. i will do this on my own no matter how long it takes for you to start forgetting these words i never said.