(037) a boy who lost his innocence

you're a curious girl, but i can't imagine the things you must feel. i'm not writing this. i'm not taking risks anymore. the radio is quiet and so am i. you can't hear me now. you never could, but you smile so easily now. i'm not waking up. i'm not talking to you. you probably won't worry with your iq. you're so smart when it comes to obvious things. we will never change. it's just another false hope of mine, but i swear - this time, it will be my last. i'm not listening. i'm not understanding the words that you speak. this isn't happening. the sun won't come up. the stars won't even shine when you're all alone. the security blanket that you used to have - it doesn't keep you warm out in the freezing cold. the echoes would lead you down the stairs and into the living room, but nothing was there.

don't wait for me. i will never be ready. i will never be worth any of your time. i'm just playing around. i mean - i've said it before. i'm leaving all my sorrow at your old back door. i'm just tripping over the thoughts in my mind. three days in a row - i should stop hitting rewind. i've never been able to get anything out. sometimes i hope, but i usually doubt that someone can hear me; that i can be seen. i think that this hole is just way too deep. i need a pill to sleep. i need a pill to keep me in reality. is it really reality? the pictures don't make sense. i was only a boy who lost his innocence. i think i could make it on my own if people would care and not leave me alone. it's just too damn hard, but i shouldn't complain. i'm the one with the fucked up brain.

i'm not on my way. i'm not going to say anything else.