(051) bombs falling from the falling sky

a mass suicide. bombs falling from the falling sky.

this is what happens when i dream. pictures that hang from walls without any sound whatsoever. once i am in, i look everywhere for you. people who can't wake up are said to be in a coma, but i fly nonstop to a place where memories are scattered and left behind.

i can't love you, but i can pretend to.

(050) rewired and expired

my voice is afraid. i'm stuck in the past. the same ideas will never last. my sorrow erodes all feelings aside. the bombs explode throughout my mind. i was kissed by an angel whose heart was already half-dead. then she said goodbye, and she left just as quick as she came. i was never the same. the fire started without a flame. your sympathy helps. it helps you feel sorry for yourself. i don't need memories to remember anything. i was born alone in my head, and i feel the most alive while i sleep in my bed. the scene has been set. the people will see. we'll act it all out in black misery. he's caught in the middle.

surrounded. now, he can't escape. the picture is changing, but he still can't see his face.

tell me the same old shit. i'll just get used to it. i've been rewired, but i've expired.

(049) no reason to go back

but who am i to want what i can't have? behind the sadness of every day lies a full echo of constant furthering regret. those in debt seek out their unknown origins while carrying their compasses in their back pockets. yep, futility reigns supreme in the minds of people like me. no reason to go back over my lines and stutter, hoping they'd make a difference because they wouldn't. the only way to escape from my future is to give it up. i can't focus anymore. it's all distraction. their ignorance foreshadows their destiny. my time will come, and i'll be ready. there's nothing left to chase after.

society is based upon fictionalized ideas. i need out. i believed them when they said i'd feel better. their god doesn't exist, but neither do their souls. "keep watching," she said. "don't lose track of where you're headed yet. it's beyond your darkest fears, but don't worry because it won't matter." i used to exist. what happens next?

(048) living without love; breathing without air

you had blacked out. and this was the moment that i felt completely lost in - each minute creeping by reminding me of my sins. and this life reminds me of a single day without you - a certain memory that will be gone until i buy some new shoes. all those times when i just glared down at my feet, nervous. but some people never love unless they are loved first. so take my hand, and we'll drown in the ocean together.

i lost everything living without love and breathing without air. adjust the mirrors in your car so that they all face down. like pushing hard, you don't let up. sparks bleed silently, corrupting what was once there. every room slowly fills up with thick, white smoke until we start to cough and jump out the windows, falling to our deaths. the feelings crossed between us lost their meanings last december, but the reasons behind my obsession - i don't remember.

(047) passing out behind the wheel

do we tell these jokes to each other just to hide our sadness? another day, another sunrise... another wasted shadow. through the walls of barren silence, we scream through the night. wake up, and the alarm sounds the best when you can't hear it. i don't remember being alive. there aren't anymore stones to throw back into the lake. no more mistakes. no more sanity. no more sudden flashes of beauty. i drive down the same highway for hours, slowly passing out behind the wheel. but it's all okay, right? no. it's not. they never realized what we see. so soon, the walls were coming down. the sun was burning us through the windows that we couldn't roll down in time, and my eyes were frozen shut. i became numb underneath this skin. and when i reached out my hands in front of me, i was grabbing onto an already disappearing hope. stay here with me in the dark until i learn to reject this demented heart.

(046) between you and me

a misinterpretation gaining way. critical meanings forming out of clay. backing away from hidden comparisons too fast will leave a stain to show the beauty of the past. black and white were divided from the mix, but you still waste your time building your house with my bricks. take a breath while you're able to breathe and open your eyes while you're able to see. we slowly look around for what we'll never find and only come to realize we've left it far behind. something that was conserved without a chance to ever be transferred on, but it keeps drifting away until it's totally gone. healthy plants were uprooted from this fertile ground because a mix of stormy winds suddenly arrive and collided without sound. forever in debt to the reasoning of mankind.

i can't see straight in this mixture of my own love and my own falsified hate. everyone tries to break me apart, but they don't even know where to start. i'm just impaired; incoherently walking between blurred lines of decisions instead. it's hard to define what's real about the ways i wander around in my collapsible mind. the clocks keep ticking, but time is left unchanged. i think about the overwhelming, exponential cost - the cost of being free, and i realize the difference isn't lost between you and me. forever in debt to the deaf and the blind.

(045) the sun will burn a hole through us both

the impossible never was. everything that was once there has passed. he looks in the mirror, and he suddenly doesn't recognize his own face. he was once alive, but that was in a different life which ended abruptly because the sky was falling. while dreaming, he shifts to an alternate state of consciousness where his mind can run free. the city beckons him, and he knows he will eventually be rendered useless until he shuts down. not that it will matter. the sun will burn a hole through us both, and we won't remember our names. we will drown in the ocean's sorrow and never be washed ashore.

(044) the sky is flashing brilliance

the sky is wishing me good luck. the sky is flashing brilliance. it won't let me apologize for not looking at it all day. i'm doubting there will ever be a time like that again - when the world would spin so slow, you were obsessed with every detail. there i was - daydreaming and drifting into an endless oblivion of fear and assumption - where nothing was real and every thought was irrational... where only i and no one else could see. i finally woke up, but i was lost. you were in my heart, but then my heart slowly died.

(043) laughing in our graves

and you're the sad mistake i wish i didn't make, but the angels never told me to walk on without you. i suppose it's time to go and act as if i know who we both are or are pretending to be. we will be laughing in our graves. please, just leave me to die. right here. right now.