(0149) silencer

the graveyard is sleeping quiet, and every one of us will be there soon. the only memory that still hangs in the air is one of loss, but our shadows don't lie. i wasn't actually planning on staying around for this long, but inspiration conquers all. because once your heart is empty, it can't bleed anymore. but if hell is coming, then let it come. there's no point in being afraid.

because i can be your fucking anxiety. i can be your desperation. i can be your one-way road, and no one would even have to know. the tape ejects, but it now holds more than just our regret. it holds our thoughts so we won't forget. so no one will forget. and this is the intersection where they claimed you were dead, but we both knew better. and they'll say you're wrong. they'll say you're dumb. but it won't matter much. they'll soon be gone. and if i'm the only one who feels this way, then cover up my body 'cause it's never too late. and if innocence is deadly and causes you to fall, then we'll be picking daisies and auctioning them off. we better have a reason to hit this switch or the medicine will force us to live. these diametric footsteps are imprinted in the sand. we have no more anesthetic, and we don't own any land. the orphans of a society hooked on drugs. and this radio just tunes in static, so i think i'll pull the plug. they tell us who we are, but they ain't got no clue. we offer up our sympathy, but we don't get any food. but i'm just fine and comfortable in these worn-out shoes. an instance of self-repetition latches itself to my bones. i dream of the final solution except this time it's all of mankind. we count down the last remaining hours, and we hallucinate until it is time. we hallucinate until it is time.

so just walk right by.

i don't know why i can't wake up. i can't wake up. i'm living in a shallow grave, and the animals all know my name. they follow me. into the earth. into the earth.

you'll say goodnight, and i won't reply.

(0148) agoraphobic enlightenment

react with empty tears of solace; bright enough to light the forest... death and demons are no reason to focus on your blood and semen... we don't have a single breath in our lungs that justifies our expenses, but i can't imagine it any other way. there are choices i'm not prepared to make. and there are hands i'm not prepared to shake, but i don't care... believe you're almost out the window and everything will seem so simple, but it won't. i'll never open up my eyes. i'll never even say goodbye so just go away. shut out your past and start all over; you think you've found your four-leaf clover, but it's all a lie... dream of love that isn't real. a feeling we all want to feel. forever and always, but it's not enough. someday the river will run dry , and you'll be alone and wondering why this only happens to you. so i've taken the ashes from this fire and dumped them in this hole of writer's block. i know you're just confused and lonely. i'm just confused and lonely. but our minds are already made up.

a schizophrenic remark to a girl who sees with her soul. i feel the icepicks pinching the fermented roots from this burning soil, and i sit down. we all experience the same things, but rarely do we even stop to realize it. our tears don't even matter. it's a bitter ending, and there's no reason to believe anything different. all we are is cold cement and tethered excuses of importance. we cough up our hopes and vomit out our dreams. and of course, the only thing worse than politics is religion, so why are they both such noble causes? if there's one thing they cause, it's war. war and ignorance.

fascism is taking over the world, and what we need to do is accept it because, apparently, your god could care less. there's no escaping, and if you think there is, you're a fool. but then again, even i'm a fool... but at least i don't lie to myself.

dead birds and crippled magicians don't make much sense. but in the midst of a world being reborn, you see everything differently. and through the pretty faces and forgotten traces of time, i follow my own subsistent need for love and acceptance... only to be shunned by the masses.

then again, this is how it should be. this is exactly how it should be.

(0147) draining out the blood

fingers falling off and a tongue of distaste. you never saw the light so don't claim that you do. you're all such a waste of beautiful energy. such disillusioned souls have no need for reason.

you'll forget about my body. you'll all forget about my body, and so will i.

it's really not that complicated at all, but i'll come back in your nightmares, and you'll remember. you'll remember.

this skin stretches and wrinkles in the face of time itself. youth is desperate. spots of clarity in a sea of remorse and regret - they're all over me... telling me everything is okay and the worst is over.

imagination speaks louder than reality, but reality speaks for itself.

it's not that i don't care. it's just that i choose not to be infected.

there's no time for lies. there is no time for it. make yourself known. come out of the shadows and make yourself known. this is your battle, not mine.

(0146) tremors unseen

a monument of dishonesty breaks between the former self and the plagues of future parasites attached to the cerebral cortex. i dream of a summer heat wave blistering throughout my mind, and all i grasp are a few pennies that had been lost in the back of my head. i decide i'll leave them there for now. one memory has been eroded, and another has been reignited. the streets are quiet but cause my car to make unfamiliar sounds. things will probably fall apart soon.

her smile drives out demons, and i don't know how to express any sense of gratitude so i just smile back. we both leave and go our own separate ways. tremors unseen and footprints wiped clean. alcohol just gets in the way. when my body stops working, i'll be more alive than ever. you can believe what you want to believe, but your god is just a figment of your imagination, and i'm only a product of human nature... and my tongue is a bit twisted, but my tears are wholly innocent. i stay calm because there is nothing at all to worry about. nothing.

(0145) roadkill & wasted souls

your eyes burn of fire, but no one else really notices.

invested in the absence of your enlightenment; a pattern of kindness awaits. my hands react with somnolence, encroaching on your walls... i follow the path straight to dead. i emptied out the garbage and peeled off my skin. the tempting of innocence still remains. there's nothing in your pockets i haven't seen before, and someone's empty heart has caused these words to be ignored.

falling and crawling back to the start. we all let distraction tear our souls apart. breathing and feeling the threads of your spine. coughed up; recycled; dirty works of art... tested and inspected the cameras in your mind.