(0170) back and forth

abandoned cutaway. lost in traffic and hidden in the grass. drowned in an ocean you will never see. twisted an ankle and broke three bones. walking backwards. what a waste of time. i guess it was a lack of gravity; a lack of purpose. delusions of less significance while thinking about music with no sound. see beneath the ground and you will wither away slowly. my dissonance, my ignorance, and my restlessness make for a lovely conversation with myself. you were the one to leave. coward. an impossible daydream and you knew it all along. i almost froze out there, but oh well. it's warm now i suppose. i suppose we have no better judgment so we just guess all the way through with no tomorrow in sight. scatter like birds. nothing left but love and actions without reactions. just walk it off.

tension flood filling up the basement. forgot to turn on a light. follow the moon and get off at the nearest exit. "we're building future homes with many bedrooms and bathrooms. and we'll help you get a loan if you don't have the cash to make the monthly payments." save your souls and just patch the holes in your apartments. come down from that height. sewn up skin is less forgiving than you think. black waves of consciousness slowly fall away when all is regained. no lack of peripheral vision here. cities underwater and the end of the world just a breath away. tilt-a-whirl makes me sick. looks for an answer all the time.

(0169) felt like the end

we're the only ones alive. quarter notes fell, but i ended up here anyway. forgot about you a long time ago. keep pulling out the bones till there's none left. full house face down. you never saw it coming. tick goes the clock, unafraid to show its pride. indigent and hollowed out. i keep waking up too. only, you're not there. feeling dead when i'm anything but. he repeats the same things over and over all the time, and it gets tiring. heart attack will come and save him soon enough. chain reaction is exciting. down go the buildings one after another. nice job, mr. president. give me the gift of foresight, and i'll promise to drink all of your overpriced bottled water for eternity. lightning bolt straight to the source. and we never fake it. why? well, fuck... because sleep doesn't help, dipshit. a message from god? i doubt it.

i wish i could have saved him. i honestly do. bittersweet, but it's too late. a new era dawns. "how do they do that?" "do what?" "they always land on their feet." "animal instinct." "damn right." follow through before the sun dies because someday there won't be anymore lies. break the habit, and you can do this too. it's easy. just like mom always said. and just like dad never got out of bed. too many mazes to navigate, eh? i'll see you soon.

(0168) incoming/outgoing

reacting quaint. so far, so good. washed away into obscurity. in hiding. tell me the tales of mistaken identities. i'm just falling asleep. that's all. no answers needed.

be at work on time. never late. fifty days straight. so strange to be sedated the whole time too.

nothing can be erased, only crossed out... with three fingers falling from the clouds, circling out.

meaning gone forever. breaks like a branch. don't say anything - it won't matter. stranger stranger, reach out to feel you but all i feel is empty air. they have me trapped. just seconds to collapse. no more time. suture up the broken eggs, and leave no blemishes behind.

dreams go black and faces revealed to the son of man. it's never what it seems, it's only sleight of hand. and in the future, we go back through time. not so much of a surprise.

we all count backwards because tomorrow won't wait for us.

(0167) comparative methods

lines in the ocean just beg to be drawn. but millions of people still think that it's wrong.
up past the sky and out into space. it's all done and over now; there's no point to race.

red spit will follow as you wipe your knees... while baby birds die as they fall from their trees.
simple i know, but you're no longer here. it's all forming in the atmosphere.

blood splattered brightly all over the wall. 20 years old and just starting to crawl
as cats sing their songs and dogs die of thirst, it's all taking shape in the universe.

and she's fucked in the brain and it's doing him in, but it's better than feeding his ego.
(i'm over it.) we're all trying to be sane.

flash my name with sixteen letters, and you'll never forget.
string together these brain fragments and pull the furthest one down the river.
i don't try to make art. i don't even know how. besides, this isn't fucking art.
it's my own excrement. table wiped clean like a clean slate. split in half; talking in pairs. ones and zeros.

this will be the last time we kiss. afterwards, dissolve into sand.

"maybe not for you, but for me... definitely."

(0166) endless

jam up the frequency ringing in my ears. i've been going backwards for twenty-three years. and i don't see myself when i look in the mirror... a lie of confused perception. a baby remembers, but a baby forgets. everything mixed up in either fear or regret. but there's one thing i have, and it's all i have left... so i pretend to know my way. as amber lights fade and retract into night, the moths all go home 'cause it's no longer bright. a city divided is growing despite its own feeble resolution.

emptied out their possessions, but they still felt the guilt. so the people were silent as they were lined up and killed. a million ounces subtracted from a bottle that used to be filled... it's just an issue of concentration.

and blood spilled from daddy's head
as ghosts were disappearing.

moving shadows no one could pursue...
a blank slate;
a new chapter...

refused.

(0165) isolation and ignorance

an embarrasing reaction wasn't needed, but i had no time to think.
and so your empathy just faulted on the side of those who have forgotten how to blink.
and i heard a sound - it got so loud - it got so loud, i had to close my ears.
but an imaginary friend of mine just got so sad that i had to wipe his tears.
and i felt it all at once, and all at once, it felt like death was on the verge... but was it really even happening?
so i gathered up these things and left, and i never looked back because there was nothing there.
another shoelace i could never tie, even if i tried.
but just feed your needs and swallow down, or maybe even chew and spit it out.
it never tasted that good anyway. so he walked away.
you can throw your stones, and i'll throw mine, but don't ever forget i was always on your side.

so i emptied her ashes into waters that flow through the pores of humanity, softly and slow.
in the end, i just know she will find her way back. past the gardens of sweat and the deserts of black.
and on her face, she left no regret. "the whole world is a graveyard." but nobody remembers the sky...
and after death, we must never forget the sun only shines for as long as you can bear to bleed - so don't cry...