(0230) dead and falling leaves
well i've been thinking about all the things i had, and every single one of them was a fairy tale inside of my head. and i'll pretend every once in a while that one wasn't, but there's nothing in this world worse than stretching the truth to be a lie. and our imaginary connection was just a forced performance, and it left nothing behind to be left out of this equation. and the turn of events wasn't really all too surprising. it was more of punchline to this sick and twisted, cruel joke, and it turns out that the joke was really on us both. pieces of time we'll never get back, but it's what we deserve.
and now i'm heading west whenever possible. this way, i never have to see a sunrise. but i'm always trying to unlock the lock by putting in this combination. and who would've known the combination didn't matter... it's just something that's much too hard to realize.. like a thousand people doing the exact same thing at the exact same time...
and you never thought that you would matter, but it's just a matter of time until you forget the truth... so you might as well be walking backwards. because if you're gonna waste my time, i don't wanna see you. and sometimes i think that everything is broken. and sometimes i think that everything is fucked. but i'm falling out from all these dead leaves... and all these institutional hierarchies. 'cause i've made a subtle and small impression on everyone that comes out of this silent vacuum. and it's all i need to keep me going. so just let the passing traffic make us slowly fall asleep. it's really not that - no it's really not all that too soft of a sheet... but i wake up to find another person. not lying next to me but inside of my own head. almost could have sworn that the other guy was dead. and this is what happens when you walk around injected with a bullet full of lead. always waiting to drown when there's no water in sight. always looking for the dark when you finally see the light. i called off of another day of working because i'd rather be spending it inside this place. this place where karma just keeps fucking up everything you try to make. this place where guilt is just a big, useless mistake.
and now i'm heading west whenever possible. this way, i never have to see a sunrise. but i'm always trying to unlock the lock by putting in this combination. and who would've known the combination didn't matter... it's just something that's much too hard to realize.. like a thousand people doing the exact same thing at the exact same time...
and you never thought that you would matter, but it's just a matter of time until you forget the truth... so you might as well be walking backwards. because if you're gonna waste my time, i don't wanna see you. and sometimes i think that everything is broken. and sometimes i think that everything is fucked. but i'm falling out from all these dead leaves... and all these institutional hierarchies. 'cause i've made a subtle and small impression on everyone that comes out of this silent vacuum. and it's all i need to keep me going. so just let the passing traffic make us slowly fall asleep. it's really not that - no it's really not all that too soft of a sheet... but i wake up to find another person. not lying next to me but inside of my own head. almost could have sworn that the other guy was dead. and this is what happens when you walk around injected with a bullet full of lead. always waiting to drown when there's no water in sight. always looking for the dark when you finally see the light. i called off of another day of working because i'd rather be spending it inside this place. this place where karma just keeps fucking up everything you try to make. this place where guilt is just a big, useless mistake.
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