(0238) decompose and deconstruct

i felt the wind beneath me howl. a mortgage too late to pay and a sky turning gray.
detached at the hips. burns on the lips... and all because of some coffee that was too hot to sip.

another day and another place. another piece of skin left behind.
and the fake laughter goes on forever like a baby's piercing eyes.
cemetery lacking a voice in the wind. coughing up the only blood remaining.
stabbed myself in the back and never looked back.
walked around clueless; unaware of my grip.
promised myself i would find help only to find hurt.
made my bed with carelessness, and now i pay the price.
i have become washed out. useless. but enough of that.
i just hope they save you, and that's all that matters.

decomposed; resting in peace with all the other animals.
deconstruct all these chalk outlines until she's gone to sleep.
i was once the traffic in these cold, empty streets - tailor-made to the specs of your heart.
i was standing still like the frozen stare that was carved on your face.
i was fading fast under surgical clamps i could only wish to describe... turn off the lights...

i check the time. half past the moon as it beckons the sun.
i turn left and end up at a dead-end.

three years of a wasted effort. "no more mistakes," i tell myself.
right then, i get a phone call. a familiar voice.
talk back as i fold some clothes i had forgotten to wash. fuck.
write down these words just to erase them later.
thoughts that never existed. only in our heads. only in our hearts.
bipolar trust fund. three pills a day keeps the doctor away.
i collapse and forget. we fade to black.
an empty canvas under my fingernails, begging to be put to use.