(0259) logistics in footprints
i woke up. i woke up. i saw you in disguise. i dreamed up. i dreamed up some awful thing inside. now, i can't control it. it's like a cat in heat. i measured the ingredients so i could taste the summer - so i could come down from the drug that you had put in me. now, tell me the truth - now, is that how you want to make a choice? i've got to submerge myself inside your pretty void. the walls are collapsing. the ceiling's still caving in. i know i was not in danger, but i'd like to think that you had me convinced.
in silence. in silence. it will cover this like blood. so kill me. so kill me. please make sure i'm not alive. i had the ironic misfortune of being free to move but paralyzed. a picture. picture. a picture's worth a thousand words... but i don't think i care enough to understand these complex words. so i'll write them. i'll write them until they make the situation worse. what's worse? what's worse? what could be worse than this? a simple understanding. an unseen look and an ugly kiss. a physiological study would never prove indeed... the sickness that i carry... it's best we go our ways. the sun is not laughing at his confusion anymore. dripping oil from this filter, the fuel doesn't seem to work. but false endings are securely tightened to his dirty, white shoestrings. cut off these handles like you're cutting off a possibility.
this skin wears me well, it does, but i need a second kind. a little fascination and a little patience - i only have my entire life. brains fleeing for their own good. soaked in solipsism and dried under a morning haze. gas station payed me back temporarily. are you running the marathon? i'm dead last. that christmas, we noticed all the grass that doesn't hide. i'm a dreamer. he's a drunken philosophy but so am i. we don't need what's missing. all we need is what's nearby.
i've been inside the clouds. i've been inside my head. i saw the ugly systems that caused you to be one of the walking dead... so i made another sick disguise where no one would ever know i've lied to everyone i've ever met. death reliance... some newfound innocence. was i afraid to fall? too afraid that we would trip? the way the talking birds synchronized their flights. i've always wished that i could have that kind of sight. you gave me an atom bomb, but i'll probably just walk it off..like i've always done... because i could never have enough, and i should've been set on fire in that summer heat. i only wish that i was you and that you were me. dreamt of nothing else but beautiful delusions. sat in miles of traffic for this drastic, cutting contusion. spread another blanket over my refusal and wash these hands with the blood left over from this relationship's funeral. i stuttered all the way to a doorway of happy thoughts, then i realized it was locked, but i still thought of happy thoughts.
in comas, we will talk. and yes, we'll walk. no, we won't forget. and no, i won't unlearn. read the newspaper and expect to understand. i'm a half second late, but i'll still buy the stamp. i've gone every direction; up and down every single ramp. and now, i'm torn in the middle of an unnecessary rant. what will live forever, and what will rot? are there sicknesses evolved from youth? don't expect to hear from me when you're throwing up all the shit that you chose to eat. get this kid an icepick and his heroin, and he won't be bothering anyone. we'll all live forever, and you will not... so veil the bones because i want the meat. that shit won't help you on the street. deprivation lapse left me off the map, but now i won't be coming back. split you into fifty pieces, pulled from the form that you left inside this wormhole of imagination graphs. the shoes are apathetic, but the feet are not... malnourished at the sight of you with teeth that never knew how to chew.
show me the tragedy. i won't pretend to see. i won't disturb your peace, and no, i won't be on my knees. undeniable blinking lights. there's plenty of things inside. cut around the vacancy and shut my mind off with your eyes. licked the floor clean of this mess. i'll probably never have the strength to confess. this situation wasn't pretty. it melted me until there was nothing left. so we paint the sky all black, and we fake our heart attacks. there was nothing in this waiting room but a magazine and more bad news. the other day, i was not there. i was not invisible. i couldn't talk. i could breathe, but i wasn't aware. i didn't sleep that night. i just hallucinated and took it as a substitute. they carved their letters in your face and pretended to be me. they stole my lines because i could never be that kind of a dream. i'm an empty vessel in your world so wind doesn't even help. just follow this trail of syllables and look for what you'll never find. she was just a lie i didn't want to believe, and if someone could just see my truth, it would be the most beautiful thing. i'm not acting when i write. i'm going in circles. the dust gathers, and i wait. either way, i'm leaving this place for new scenery and old feelings so i can continue to make myself with neverending ink and anxiety. were we a little too quick to react? everything i need will always be intact. don't interpret this for what you aren't. you are the cell door that keeps me blocked off from your heart. don't this burn just like anything else? corrosive as it is, and i still feel fine. two locations divided by distance. souls divided by time.
in silence. in silence. it will cover this like blood. so kill me. so kill me. please make sure i'm not alive. i had the ironic misfortune of being free to move but paralyzed. a picture. picture. a picture's worth a thousand words... but i don't think i care enough to understand these complex words. so i'll write them. i'll write them until they make the situation worse. what's worse? what's worse? what could be worse than this? a simple understanding. an unseen look and an ugly kiss. a physiological study would never prove indeed... the sickness that i carry... it's best we go our ways. the sun is not laughing at his confusion anymore. dripping oil from this filter, the fuel doesn't seem to work. but false endings are securely tightened to his dirty, white shoestrings. cut off these handles like you're cutting off a possibility.
this skin wears me well, it does, but i need a second kind. a little fascination and a little patience - i only have my entire life. brains fleeing for their own good. soaked in solipsism and dried under a morning haze. gas station payed me back temporarily. are you running the marathon? i'm dead last. that christmas, we noticed all the grass that doesn't hide. i'm a dreamer. he's a drunken philosophy but so am i. we don't need what's missing. all we need is what's nearby.
i've been inside the clouds. i've been inside my head. i saw the ugly systems that caused you to be one of the walking dead... so i made another sick disguise where no one would ever know i've lied to everyone i've ever met. death reliance... some newfound innocence. was i afraid to fall? too afraid that we would trip? the way the talking birds synchronized their flights. i've always wished that i could have that kind of sight. you gave me an atom bomb, but i'll probably just walk it off..like i've always done... because i could never have enough, and i should've been set on fire in that summer heat. i only wish that i was you and that you were me. dreamt of nothing else but beautiful delusions. sat in miles of traffic for this drastic, cutting contusion. spread another blanket over my refusal and wash these hands with the blood left over from this relationship's funeral. i stuttered all the way to a doorway of happy thoughts, then i realized it was locked, but i still thought of happy thoughts.
in comas, we will talk. and yes, we'll walk. no, we won't forget. and no, i won't unlearn. read the newspaper and expect to understand. i'm a half second late, but i'll still buy the stamp. i've gone every direction; up and down every single ramp. and now, i'm torn in the middle of an unnecessary rant. what will live forever, and what will rot? are there sicknesses evolved from youth? don't expect to hear from me when you're throwing up all the shit that you chose to eat. get this kid an icepick and his heroin, and he won't be bothering anyone. we'll all live forever, and you will not... so veil the bones because i want the meat. that shit won't help you on the street. deprivation lapse left me off the map, but now i won't be coming back. split you into fifty pieces, pulled from the form that you left inside this wormhole of imagination graphs. the shoes are apathetic, but the feet are not... malnourished at the sight of you with teeth that never knew how to chew.
show me the tragedy. i won't pretend to see. i won't disturb your peace, and no, i won't be on my knees. undeniable blinking lights. there's plenty of things inside. cut around the vacancy and shut my mind off with your eyes. licked the floor clean of this mess. i'll probably never have the strength to confess. this situation wasn't pretty. it melted me until there was nothing left. so we paint the sky all black, and we fake our heart attacks. there was nothing in this waiting room but a magazine and more bad news. the other day, i was not there. i was not invisible. i couldn't talk. i could breathe, but i wasn't aware. i didn't sleep that night. i just hallucinated and took it as a substitute. they carved their letters in your face and pretended to be me. they stole my lines because i could never be that kind of a dream. i'm an empty vessel in your world so wind doesn't even help. just follow this trail of syllables and look for what you'll never find. she was just a lie i didn't want to believe, and if someone could just see my truth, it would be the most beautiful thing. i'm not acting when i write. i'm going in circles. the dust gathers, and i wait. either way, i'm leaving this place for new scenery and old feelings so i can continue to make myself with neverending ink and anxiety. were we a little too quick to react? everything i need will always be intact. don't interpret this for what you aren't. you are the cell door that keeps me blocked off from your heart. don't this burn just like anything else? corrosive as it is, and i still feel fine. two locations divided by distance. souls divided by time.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home