(0265) untitled

detailed demolition only has the hopes of another ambition, and the scintillating words of your voice make me a freezing innocent. a surreal dialectic curtain that's blocking out my window with a weird pitch and the flow of a newly-minted ocean. look out into the blue sky and find me, but you'll probably just find another vapid cloud. but your assumptions have me squinting, and the old tires are no longer spinning down those streets that you never found. and the feeling me has me reaching for a sound.

i surrendered in the night. i turned on a switch that turned on a light. i meandered in the false pretense of yours truly. my instinct was to run, but i only had my hands; i didn't have a gun, and your reaction let me know of my cruelty.

she left a note inside my coughed-up soul, but i never read it until i could see. eight years later down the road, i noticed my camera wasn't focused on the things that i should've seen. and now, i'm not the most intelligent one, but at least i still know how to read.

submerged in mystery, we swim for what we want - veiled purpose. distilled in summer, we love until we suffer from delusion. call a time-out to find out there was nothing in my nightmare. call your phone to hear nothing but a voicemail.

the sentimental never knew of what they couldn't hope to gain. their ignorance left much to be desired. straightened out like a line that bounced off my field of view, and the envelope you used couldn't hold a candle to the truth so i wormed my whole way through. he gave up on some new medicine that was supposed help him live. he would vaguely recall any endings. the beginnings were all that mattered, pure and simple as they were, and the universe was alive in the daylight.

i relapse and die on the fourteenth day of the second month.

(0264) frozen in motion

you're trying to live inside this world, and i can only watch you as the gravity connects my feet to an underground view of distant hues. feel like i've checked out long ago and like my face is made of sand. there's a picture i can't delete because it's attached to me like my hands.

reasoning not being shallow, but my vacancy remains. box of crayons can't help me out, and your ghost drives me insane. words and numbers keep me busy. i push the thread inside the needle. this new direction will make you disappear. this will be a movie designed with no pointless sequel.

snap the wires. cut the cords. i will not be looking back. in time, we'll all get old and reminisce about the days that never last. i've seen that look upon your face; it reminded me of my creeping death. the cavities within my brain could never hold the beauty of a breath.

the motion has me frozen, and the lack of emotions has me trapped inside an ocean of dead bodies where the music is not heard in the right context of time. i might struggle. i might flail about and give up altogether, but i'll try my best to not let other people notice the bad weather.

take a mental train, and i'll meet you at a station in the center of the universe. my disease spreads into the trees of patience, and i can barely wait until i'm six feet under earth. i'm just being cynical. it's a pretty horrible trait to have, but i can barely fall asleep with the radiance of the world tearing through those trees like wind inside my head.

(0263) an embryonic awakening in reverse

say i love you. say i hate you. say i wanted to go die with you. say i need you. say i leave you. say i wanted to believe in you. would it fit right on that finger? people pass by. people linger. people hide out. people whisper. we can't breathe here. we can't stay here. we will not succumb to the strangling fear. would it help to play your game? weather changes. weather stays the same. understanding is the feeling. scaled downward towards the end of life. watching bubbles float to the surface. if i find you, would you notice me or would you disappear into the forgetfulness of the sea?

in the hard tissue of bones, we won't find what we're looking for. i'll keep you bolted in my head, but tomorrow, there's no turning back. unaware of who i am, i forgive them for not making sense.

get up like the rest of day. walk until i'm far away and take a taxi to see the end.

frequent in the same place that you'll probably always hide within. fog of your delusion remains, and it won't go away nor clear. muted from the cost of truth; washed inside out from the very start.

lay down like the rest of night. sleep flows through the gutter like wet cement inside my skin.

some go where the water lies. an embryonic awakening in reverse that can't be taught. others chase their needs into a vacant sky. the memories make up my colors and clear my blurry sight.

the distance in our eyes is exactly the same length, but the focal point is not your face. the distance in our eyes is exactly the same length, and the focal point will never change.