(0276) ode to a despondent society

in this instant reflection, we cross our hearts out in all directions. listen for raindrops because nature's not necessarily on our side. i can't even see your beauty, yet we end up like actors in a movie. stand here and improvise while i look for walls to climb. silent; not responding. we revive you and then commence the counting. we count to infinity, but i still don't want to do the math. motion is backwards so why do we bother with our cameras? there are no real moments. it's just a blurry photograph. move faster to avoid disaster. don't slow down, or you'll be captured in a leaky vessel of time that can't be traced. restructured but still ruptured. were you planning on looking upward? it's just an optical illusion of perceptive space.

when you make sounds with an instrument, be sure to remember to kiss with your lips. keep your eyes aligned and ignore the sky. the sky is a vague reminder of why we think we feel fine.

devour all that's devoid from your ailing face of curiosity.
i've split a thousand hairs in all these wasted years, paranoid by everything i see.
i walked a million miles in these shitty shoes so i'm not worried about my feet.
no, this is not a new resolution. it's not an addendum to what you read.
give me a signal that you're still alive, and i'll give you more air to breathe.

i saw my brain in a microscope. neurons and chemicals.
frontal lobe seems to be okay, but i'm still pretty cynical.
if i disconnect the dependency, maybe then, i'd be better off.
integrate my social attitude with a culture jam and then hope that it would be enough.

inverted colors, and it was a lie. it was a myth you let propagate.
we all showed up for the final act and saw nothing but a frozen lake.
you sure laughed it up. you laughed it all up until you realized it was all a sham for which you paid.
today, i saw a rainbow that showed up on the dark side of the moon.
yesterday was tomorrow's miracle that was in harmony with the perfect tune.

(0275) cigarettes and broken hearts

climb the trees before the leaves start to leave because insanity is just one side effect of this hypothetical disease.
turn on the lights and make sure they're bright because this damn night, i can tell, is not going to turn out right.

look at the birds. they're flying away. look at the ground. it's decided to stay.
watch the sun. it's shining today. don't watch tv. it's denying the existence of today.

get up and walk. you have no excuse. don't turn on the radio. don't make life feel mute.
feel the wind blowing at your back. ignore all the cars that race up and down the tracks.

she is caught up in silence. her world is forever imagined. they can't find the entrance because they don't know what's happened.
there's a beauty about her. it's hidden in binary code. there's a scar on her forehead, but she's never been told.

transparent reflection in the midst of this haze. knee-jerk reaction costs more than i'll ever get paid. littered with garbage, the streets cry out for meaning. how are you supposed to breathe fresh air when you're trapped between four walls and a ceiling?

burn me with ice cubes, and i'll freeze you with fire. don't worry if it doesn't make sense because our situation is dire. fake world around me, but that's real blood in my veins... and that's the difference between you and i - we don't even want the same things. paper towels and paranoia. cigarettes and broken hearts. you still owe me something important to make up for my static art.

that's not why i keep my doors locked. that's not why i try to forget. the only reason i don't want to remember you is because your ghost has still never left.

(0274) dying introduction of a wasteland

i used to love, and i still remember the way we thought we felt.
i always looked to you, and i'll probably always feel like my time ran away.

if i could have it back, i'd give away my heart... i'd never need it again.
if i could have it back, i'd burn all my possessions and start anew again.

i watched you in the sun. i watched you in the rain. i stumbled through the clouds.
i still keep trying to breathe, but i barely remember how. i barely see inside the sound.

i'm looking for the things i need. i'm looking for the reasons why.
i'm biting off the hand that feeds because i feel you on the other side.

the wait is over, but the weight brings me down.
i'm walking past the middle of your old and dying town.

i need your innocence. i needed your regret.
i'm running past the sense of my distant intent.

i bleed my life because it's all that i'm not.
can't we ignore this heart and just let it rot?

sunday's reminder was a baby in a cart.
i really want it finished, but i don't want to start.

(0273) magnetic dream

there's a void in your bones. i'd love to notice what beckons you forth; what moves you about; what keeps you home when everyone is screaming your name. you're always in denial of all the other beautiful things that you see in your dreams. i meant to measure it this time, but i can never make it just the way that i'd like. your starving eyes are still open, but i can't afford to be one of the dead. your vacant heart is still sleeping, but you won't ignore all those things that you've read.

based on imagined fears, we click the pen until we've written down our lives. the way that you felt then is not the way that i still feel right now, and when we're finally gone, i'd love to be remembered for all the things i wished i could be. i never could be what they wanted. sometimes you taste like water, and sometimes you don't taste all that good, but that's fine because i never could remember what tasted bad and what it was that always tasted so good.

come feel my wasted feelings, and i'll show you that your love is all in your mind. cracked glass was hiding in the details, and my brains poured out like the blood that came out of your veins. come feel the sharpened edge of my soul where intensity is only met with sarcastic regret. connect the dots until i pass out.
"i'm sorry" is what i said until i could see... until i no longer had the will to blindly believe...

(0272) future windows

i'm starting over. a new sign of life. i'm on my own now, but i feel too far behind. a missing moment in confusion of time. i see the outcomes, but they're all in my mind. have you been found? distant relative - i've abandoned you. i'm inside of a cloud that i see from the ground. radio tunes me in for awhile. feed me your dream. i'll eat everything. i'll swallow the gun that i hold to my head. death comes today, and i've noticed the gray in the lovers that breathe away their fate.

i lose my silence when i'm placed in the noise. i blocked it out because i still heard that voice. reception's bad, and they'll all be fine. can't feel you out there, but i know we're alive. the mirror was right. paranoia creeps in and out the front of my brain. your god is impressed with the way that you dress. no idea what is now gone and what is still left. the sun looks so sad while the moon feels fat and the stars collapse under gravity's pull. dad was like me, but i'm not like him. we couldn't imagine where we have been.