(0305) lost and found pt. 1

this dream is a blanket. it covers the parts that have gotten cold.
these flowers are useless, but they still haven't died, and the sky refuses to fold.
this is not a reaction, nor is this a distraction to keep me awake.
my fictional problem seems to have resolved itself just before i drowned in the nearby lake.

missing heartbeat made me feel like i was at the very end.
missing heartbeat filled back up with the ink from this pen.

that picture's deceiving. it makes me feel like i'm bleeding safe and sound.
summer's waiting without me, and i'm waiting somewhere in the lost and found.
not sure if it's coming or going, but there's a part of me that doesn't really care to know.
someone's chasing my shadow, and i'm chasing the reasons until the end of the snow.

missing heartbeat trapped under all the dirt from the last disaster.
missing heartbeat that's never missing by the time you get to the end of the chapter.

this dream is a pillow. it comforts my mind when i'm lost in time.
this dream is a sign that's pointing towards something i can't quite rhyme.

(0304) behind the picture

behind the picture lies a broken face, straightened hair, and a made-up name.
late to work and stuck in traffic. i watched your eyes as they worked magic, and mine went astray.
stolen thoughts from a homeless guy who just walked around until he died without ever wearing shoes.
i drove until daylight came. the darkness had swallowed all your rage while you managed to just exist.

the ventilator that kept you breathing wasn't there when they were reading their bibles that day.
scan the barcode and watch the price inflate. nobody notices so they keep it raised as you're looking at the time.
stand in line for eternity. the sign ahead says you can pay for free.. whatever that means.
free to choose and pay to lose.. upside-down with a noose that never seems to loosen its grip.

bored as hell and chasing my tail.. i never received your secondary mail until i came back to life again.
take a number and walk on by. meet you there in the frozen air as i ask myself exactly why i'm here.
written off like summer days, you imagine a ghost inside this place and ignore everything you've become.
we shed our skin and pick up the slack.. take this memory and give it back to whom it belonged to before.

i'm different in the static, but there's still room for it to grow under a sky of what's yet to be written.
it's something that you still can't see nor read.

(0303) jamming frequencies

in breath escaped, i'm looking out a window. a distant refusal lapsed through time and space.
drink fast the past and throw it up in the morning. forget all your feelings and chalk it up to some regret.
electrical death - crossed the wires until they faultered. jamming up the frequencies for a million reasons.
stay away from these heights. there's no one to scrape the pavement. frozen dinner left for consumption.
baby's eyes never opened far enough to see the truth. only blood to waste away. disappointing numbness.
fragile skin and a slit under the chin led me to a stranger's doorstep. caught the virus, and now it's picture-perfect silence.
false alarm. false deposit. walking all alone. disappearing and reappearing.. this only happens in my dreams.

the ocean skyline that's never coming into view.. i should've heard the sirens.
a disguise everyone sees through, and it's getting old.
ashes rising from a nonexistent fire that went out of control, damaging almost everything.
we taste the omission and pass by in cars that drive themselves. we wake up with no memory.
symptoms of a more complex problem where medicine has only little benefit.
politicians playing politics, and fear renders you all obsolete.
this isn't for sale. onlookers need not apply. your ambition isn't wanted nor necessary.

processed food for thought leads to momentary convulsions of what can't be understood.
we left the leftovers inside the plastic bags that you used to use for an attempted suffocation.
there's always something that you can't ignore unless you're hungry for denial.

why be offended? i wonder if it made her think.

connected between glances and looking at the future, i fall down the stairs and into a haze.

(0302) my last letter

something became frozen from within, and it consumed you.
a dam remains ahead, and it won't let you through.
i'll try picking it apart, but i have only two hands.
i will need some time to snap myself out of this unexplainable trance.

snow fills up the chambers of my heart so it's slow to direct the flow of blood,
but soon it might slowly start to thaw to let me fix the dam to avoid a neverending flood.

alternating black and white.

the stomach drops as i'm pushed up by a breathless, faint inertia that's not concerned with gravity.
i stumble through the open doors and follow whatever it is that keeps me moving away from insanity.

feelings are so complex, and they don't break down to simple molecules.
i don't know which page is coming next so i make a story out of all the particles.

distant galaxies are seen quite clear when you're looking through a telescope,
but i wonder if i'm fading away under the delusion of some kind of hope.

alternating black and white.

cigarettes are known to kill, but there's nothing that would feel better.
headlights light the darkness of the night so consider this my last letter.

(0301) avoid the light

all the fish in the sea are swimming around with no end in sight.
love is just a disease. place the bait, and they're waiting their turn to bite.
now that i've been disconnected from the grid, i avoid all the light, and i'll assume i'm right.

crack the egg with no yolk. i'm starting to understand what he meant by that.
"this is not the time to joke," she said as she watched every single tire on her car go flat.
why get all worked up to be let down? we will mute this sound. i will mute this sound.

is the dust getting lost under your pillow? is the dust getting lost under my coat?
we crop the focal point from the picture and go to bed.
without a possible distraction for a different reaction, i'm taking out all my cash...
and i don't know when the money flow will slow to zero, but now that i've made my deposits and set up an offshore bank account, the dust will keep me alive until i've arrived in an envelope.

the vacant, empty stare of what's to come, and it makes me feel dumb, sort of like chewing gum.

(0300) cold weather blues

destiny pulls my soul back to the shore, and the sunrise is over the bend.
the patterns of time that erase all these rhymes are getting too complex to make sense.
the cold weather tastes of a distant place. i found a face that's too bright to not look away.
the faster we move, the faster we lose breath, and the cement has already dried. you can't help but wonder why.

we listened for a sound from under the ground, but no one had anything to say.
waiting for the truth to soak into the roots of a tree that's been dead since the dawn of time.
sedated and raped of your apathetic and unassuming state. i've watched this happen again and again.
all the pieces were picked so they would never fit. it's too late. it's a phone that doesn't ring, and we walk away.

i'm passed out in the daylight. my lights are off, the curtain's pulled, and i don't know where i'm headed.
i'm catching up on the sunday dream of hopelessness and insecurity
so give these thoughts back to the sky.

connection dies. it's no surprise. there's a war outside and millions of babies crying.
save us from these elevators because we can't seem to escape.
i've already floated through your confusion...
and i came out with open eyes.

are you fading?
are you staying?
are you still alive?

(0299) an impossible distance

strawberry finance up and away... missing the mark of a minimum living wage.
desolate staircase, where have you gone? under the floors where the silence drags on.
cashier of debts looking over my shoulder... industry slut and we were both bending over.
trending corruption, venture capitalist... slicing throats and making long shopping lists.

searching for fuel for your private jet... three times a week, and you're just getting your feet wet.
rapid descent; we were approaching the ground. we crashed and burned, and we were never found.
with their nose in the air, they will sniff you out. they'll claim your confidence was mistaken for doubt.
this never happened. we were all in the same spot. we saw the streaks of light and then conveniently forgot.

reactional daydream disappearing in smoke... tracing out the words that you still never wrote.
fiction accounts for maybe ninety percent, and the rest of the truth was paid in full with the rent.
i walked outside and never noticed the cold. i thought i took a million wrong turns, but i made it safely home.
newspaper in my mailbox ended up in the trash. i turned around to see the whole universe expand and contract.

and then in an instant, all we saw was a flash.

new blood rising up to the eyelids, quickening heartbeat, and an impossible distance.
we could've gathered like moths around the light at a mall. we could've joined the suburban sprawl.
dressed to kill with a few credit cards and painting portraits of your poor broken heart.
cascading melody is the hardest to achieve.
the best option is to bury yourself under a wall of sound and drown in the sea.

fuckin around with the backwards sound, i sighed a sigh of relief, and i showed my receipt.
it's gonna be a long ride so i'll close my eyes and let my body keep time.

kiss off your problems and follow me down over to the world's demise.
they disconnected the phone lines so we'll have to use our eyes.

(0298) crushed under an empty car

standing under water, plans are somewhat hard to see.
we stumble in the dark of night through the only branches that have fallen from this tree.
can't understand why the pawns are placed where they're placed.
no one is waiting for anything anymore because we've waited long enough.
the past swirls around through our heads like an eternal reminder of what we've done
while the distance cuts between us like playing cards. are you on the run?

prescription pills for happiness and music for the soul..
crushed under an empty car that seemed like it was going nowhere.
have things now changed? have they morphed into mystery?
were your thoughts corrupted in silence? have you liked what you've seen?
is it disease or destination that makes you feel afraid to speak?
i lay in bed and think of nothing while the world turns without being told,
but the oscillations just cause the temperature to rise, and it fucks me up. it wakes me up.

soon, it starts to rain, and ice freezes everything.
i get in the car. i drive until i feel alive. i turn on the radio to sing.

and just right then, the dream has escaped my brain.
it's gone a hundred miles per hour through the windshield glass.

so fold up what is left and make room for room to grow.
it's getting really cold in your heart, and it's hard to walk through all the snow.

i'll finish writing this strange story in another time and space..
but for now, the day is over, and it fades away like painted stars..
a waste of unused paint.

(0297) static electricity and a dying light

your heart broke into pieces the only way it could.
echoes of frustration from sounds that no one understood.
a vaccuum of plans now closed off to make room for an undiscovered fate.
faulty plans dashed in the realization that you can't ignore what has now changed.
another day of empty; another reflection of what never came to be.
but the only thing that matters is if you can honestly say you feel free.
crossed off things without purpose because it has to be the only way to live.
purpose is a faceless result of all the drugs we never did.
a lifetime lapsed of comedy and pretentious melodies,
surrounded by culture devoid of decent personalities.

the television is broadcasting mindlessness.
you can't hear the truth because it doesn't exist.
we don't know where comfort lies.. in between the exit signs that make you dream.
flickering in the shadow of futility.
do you risk losing your mind or your dignity?
i'm walking around again; aimless as i pretend i'm what i'm not.

don't expect nothing for cheap. this is not the way it was going to be.
the pieces aren't aligned, and they make me feel unclean.

first encounters have no bearings on what reality has distracted from, but bits and fragments are all we hope to have.

pause for pictures and slice a vein.

open up the fridge for evidence, but all that dust is clogging up the vents.

static electricity and a dying light.

(0296) lovers are strangers

magnetic face, i don't want to see you.
i'll walk it off like i usually have to.
i want to see the sky, but it's blocked from my view.
the air's feeling dry, and i'm not willing to be used.

this is not..
this is not a recall.. but you don't seem to be breathing in at all.
is this a lie to make yourself feel good, or is the truth, unfiltered and bled-through?
we won't taste the bitter remainders until our bodies get sealed in containers.
now the freeze frame is stuck inside my mind.
i don't want to sleep if i'm just going to waste time.

fate was held captive by irrational thinking.
is that the reason that we're not blinking?
"lovers are strangers. there's nothing to discuss."
i agree fully, but coincidence, i can't trust.

irony's laughing. it always laughs at me.
this would be different if it was funny.

(0295) disparity of truth

disparity of truth was wasting away our wasted youth.
lost in the spokes and examining thickness of rope, but now it's too late to know.

memory recreates your disease. caught in the silence of what you couldn't see.
we overthink until all reason has numbed our minds. just give your thoughts over to what you think is inside.

your time is up now so give them your money. you were laughing because it wasn't funny.
you know the science, but we're too far behind. i will see you sometime in my next life.

this blade is cutting too deep.. like pain and pleasure wrapped up in mystery..
the second day was a false sense of security.. the only reason i felt so free..

i write a story, and you deny it. we correct everything that we are writing.
the song is simple but moving slowly. we remain alone without somehow feeling lonely.

car crashes into the tree and leaves you hanging without him, but the rest of us are moving in a new direction.
you can't decide who you want to be so make sure that you're alive in the next life.

(0294) living through wires

waking up the feeling lost in your brain. deciphered meanings don't feel the same. don't look past the rain. don't tell me your name. don't mix up the paint.

desolate and warm, breathing for truth connected in time, living through wires, void of desire, and watching the end of the world unfold in front of my eyes.

the lack of sound makes for something beautiful to see, but i'll never understand why you wasted away.
the signal comes and goes like dust on television screens as we dissolve into the future on a cloudy day.

preface that book with a warning, but i'd still like to see what it says inside the spine.
wreckless intent with a contextual diagram attached to the bones.
cut out the lights when the electric bill is getting hard to pay.

and i'm still learning to walk. i fell down when i heard you talk. yes, i did.
i stood back up to hunt down the things i needed to find, but i can't remember the way back in my mind.

scrambled eggs and a slice of toast. the lucky boy is the one who loves you the most.
snap the picture and let me step outside of the frame. it's no one's fault, but i'll be here to take the blame.