(0321) measuring the distance pt. 3

my anxiety holds the pen in place, and the words replace a shattered, neon face. saving up for the one true taste of a love that always fell through my hands. in the news today, there's nothing to chase. nothing real that will destroy our fate. our fate is too beautiful to escape. our fate is only another glance away from the dying art that conceived this plot to the memories that we wish to stop; from the television screen to a dead-end road, it's obvious we will never know the reasons that we're floating alone. i was so carefree in my younger days, but i'm even more so now that i've got absolutely nothing to say. everyone just stands in a line and waits for a number that sometimes never even comes.

tried to walk up all these steps, but it's another endless escalator going the opposite way. tried to go hunting down the truth, but it's just a phantom in the midnight sky. tried to salvage the past for what you could, but nothing was worth your efforts. tried to save what was useless, and now you've gotta look away.

there's a surface stain on the silverware. better clean it off before you go anywhere. you better look around before you disappear as if that would even matter in the end. snakes are all around with their open mouths so you better be careful. you better just watch out. the makeup's not going to help you now. fairy tales are all you have. this was never planned because i thought that i was dead. i thought i was going to live alone in my little head. i never dreamt until i was woken up by someone with a different disease. if the rhythm makes up the melody, why does dissonance eat into the frequency? can someone explain? i need someone to teach me another way to hear these sounds.

i wanna hold this pen myself. there's a million ways, but i didn't get here just to walk away. this is life.