(0349) disconnect the phone lines

this is only temporary. it can never last a lifetime. there's too many variables to even count. i'll be left in silence wondering where the time went the moment you decide to move along. i'm not content to accept the fact that things will always change. that's still what my problem is today. i wish that i could freeze the frame and always hold it near, but the truth is there's always this overwhelming fear.

disconnect the phone lines. disconnect my memory, and i have nothing but a beating heart. i wish i didn't feel because feeling leads to anguish as soon as you are told to move along. so i'm breaking down transmissions. i'm not going to sit around and wait to be left inside an abandoned dream of hope.. and if i don't come back, well, then, it's probably for the best. that way, no one would ever have to know.

breathing is unkind in the way it just makes you long for more. i won't know which way to turn when being cut loose, and the saddest part about it is i should have learned by now, but i'm constantly putting my neck into a noose. i don't want to be a stranger. i don't want to be a friend. i just want to save up for a rainy day. nothing satisfies me when i feel like i'm waiting for my demise. i'd go blind anyway if i kept looking at those eyes.