(0363) a distaste for frequency

i collapse with three miles left to go and give up right on time. life was crippled from the very beginning. tonight, i'll pretend to be free and enjoy a smoke. my mind is already burning away. forget? if only we could. memory is just up the road.

---

that's the cost of your name in my head. emptiness is passed along by what's not said.

fade away in that ordinary way. something's missing so i'll be sure to show up late.

nice to know that i'm wasting half my life. it's amazing what we think we must do just to survive.

run today while you still have stronger legs.

nothing left.

there's nothing there for me to save.

(0362) in denial

don't keep your history inside yourself. you won't react to what is changing.
forget about the hole that's eating up your brain. it only makes it that much worse.
i feel the same disconnect confuse my sight. it acts almost just like a filter.

proceed with what you think is divine reason. proof doesn't matter anyway.
another syllable. another mess. come look at life from behind a telescope.
do you regress as a way to fix what's broke?

when this is over, i want nothing back.
when this is done with, i don't want anything left intact.

desensitized to the world's spin.
already baptized myself out of sin.
will you apologize for not letting me into your light? it's already dark. it's already night.

surrender quickly. throw up your hands. they'll never know it wasn't you.
i'm broke. please fix me. everything's past prime. what else am i supposed to do?

(0361) cigarette ash

connect the dots through the measures of time. too far into debt and too much on my mind.
i'll go swimming through the gutters of my past just to notice everything that never lasts.

leave a message, but no one's listening. no one cares. sat in silence while the silence magnified my fears.
split in two. watched another part of me die. i don't even bother anymore with asking why.

i just had to laugh at all the useless noise that is permeating culture via stupid girls and boys.

connect the dots through cyclical dead ends. just another bite until you feel fed.
say goodbye to what you're holding in your hands. be prepared for when the shit will hit the fan.

i just had to laugh at all the wasted cash we've used on fast food and endless cigarette ash.