(0367) repeating forever

fictional account only accounts for what was always true.
reaction time is slowed so the meaning of it all is hard to know.
up against a wall. been held back by your lack of consequence.
i'm watching what unfolds. no way to change the outcome of it all.

feeling somewhat lost. breathing through a hole in the fog.
seating's somewhat cramped. no room to move. it must be some sort of trap.
the first thing that i see is a picture of a baby that's already dying.
the last thing that i hear are the fallout sirens repeating forever.

(0366) apathetic daydream

her dream is dead. she wades through a wasteland.
she forgets how to run and needs someone's help to stand.
so many messages. so many hours. i'm allergic to dead and rotting flowers.
pencil pushers carving out their destiny. no - that's not for me. i need some reconstructive surgery.
creating something out of nothing is all that i know to do.
i drain out the bleach and add in whatever makes me think of the color blue.
a prison cell. the end of the work shift. a piece of meat.. lingering bullshit.
if i went away, would it be just as well then? i'm sure i sounded like every other person.

i've gone so long without another soul. maybe i'll fall into another black hole.

grasping for what should be mine. why should we push rewind?

(0365) minimum deposit

based in solipsism, we cast away our hopes, hoping to be born again under a different microscope. faced with many outcomes, some real and some imagined, we evaluate the direction in which we think we're going and try to control what's bound to happen. headache numbing happiness is an unfortunate reminder that nothing will ever be perfect when you think you see mountains of smoke but you can never find the fire.

in the basement, you will find my fears collecting dust in a shitstorm. my reaction, leaving much to be desired, is the minimum deposit required.

the party is over. we have to swim before it gets colder.

(0364) silent and hungry

say what you want. i'm not immune to the poison of this world,
but i distance myself from the things i can't afford.
i live with a fear that it will all come crumbling to the ground.
these debts are imaginary, and that's why my deepest thoughts are never found.
silent and hungry for a new day.

standing on ice makes me see the things that i've never realized.
i can swim far away from here. no doubt about it.
so why do i stay when i should leave this all behind?
i don't know. i'm starting a new thought process.